With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
