Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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