If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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