i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
