i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
lets start a swedish sibling band together
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
