i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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