with your own penis?
wanna go halves on a baby?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
