She's JV to your varsity
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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