I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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