At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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