how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
