Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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