i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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