I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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