Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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