Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
