physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
