thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
