that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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