last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have peed in a lot of sinks
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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