I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
should my penis look like a turkey
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
