in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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