i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
