Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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