but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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