Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
