so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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