I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
