Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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