Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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