I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
