I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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