glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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