My cat gives me a boner
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
