Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
