I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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