I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
