I got chris browned last night
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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