We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
