i just google imaged poop.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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