Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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