So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
