During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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