Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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