either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
