For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no you cant smoke seaweed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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