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I cockslap morals
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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