got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
