come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
