you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
