i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
