oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is this like a preordered booty call?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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